You've seen my pop-up window pals popping up all over the Web lately. We promote everything from crappy teen movies to off-shore gambling opportunities. And when we sell credit cards we disguise ourselves as an error message on your screen. Pretty clever eh? If you find us on a porn site, look out, because its pop-up party time. We'll fill your screen with so many X-rated come-ons your operating system will lock up faster than your wife can say "Steve what the hell are you looking at." Now that's effective marketing.
These are desperate times
We represent the desperation of the modern Web huckster. After sinking dump trucks full of money into trendy downtown cyber lofts, over-paid cyber brats, and, oh yeah, web sites that haven't pulled a profit, marketers have turned to us to stem the tide of bad times
Meet our maker
How did we get here. Well we are the product of the information age marketing genius. Picture a slightly over-weight, over-confident, greasy, chain smoking, 30-something who's considered selling Amway. He eats a half a bag of Doritos a day and swills Mountain Dew by the case; carries a cell phone but has few friends. He's a man who's working to get out of work. He sits one notch above a used car salesman in the corporate food chain. This individual is my God, my creator.
Crapification of the Web
Behold the ingenuity of my pop-itude. You're on-line searching for information about how to relieve chronic back pain when, without warning, I appear. Across my rectangular belly is a pitch for 10X toilet cams. Quickly you abandon your interest in gathering useful knowledge about personal health and trade it for an opportunity to consume cheap-ass video equipment to address your perverted desires. You're intrigued by the bikini clad girlie. I say "This camera can be used to keep an eye on the baby, if you know what I mean." And you say "Fuck my back pain, I'm buying a titty cam."
See, how powerful web advertising can be.
Whether you're interested in us or not we're here, there and everywhere. We're pop-up windows. We thank you for letting us save the web from being a profitless wasteland of potentially useful information.